Snowflakery on steroids: Dodgeball is oppression

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Well, the headline speaks for itself: “Dodgeball is a tool for oppression.” Editors note: one of our writers insists that it’s called “Bombardment” not “Dodgeball,” and we quote “That’s what we called it in the ’70s, and I was the best!” No this isn’t proof that our staff is delusional, but it may be a small clue as to who we are!!!

So this study comes from our socialist neighbors to the North, Canada. Looks like we need to build the wall on our Southern and Northern Borders!

Summary of the wacko “scientist” who is quoted in the article, is that by hitting someone with a ball it is a form of “aggression,” and aggression leads to oppression. Now one of us here may have a doctorate (Clue #2!!!), and that person makes the scientific assertion that “Dodgeball shows kids that competition can be fun, there are winners and losers, and some people are naturally better athletes.”

Unfortunately, our writer wouldn’t stop and continued: “Dodgeball is a great life lesson, you don’t always win, not everyone is equal, and life is tough – but you’ll survive!” Hopefully, this writer won’t read this article, because we agree with him/her/them and it may go to his/her/their head (Clue #3, this writer uses normal, gendered pronouns).

We think it’s things like this that are making our (non-conservative) kids soft. Everyone is oppressed and is a victim. Competition is bad.

Well, come join us in our safe space…We have cookies, guns and one of us claims to be good at Dodgeball (Bombardment)!

We’re also convinced that the author of the Canadian study based her research on this clip from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story:

As always, please share!

Remember to check back with the Colorado Citizen Press, and we’re always looking for good stories to write about. Please use our “Citizen Tip Line” early and often. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter (@COCitizenPress)!

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